Dr. Julia A. AndreBeyond PTSD · Trauma Specialist
Dr. Julia A. AndreBeyond PTSD · Trauma Specialist
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Trauma that doesn't look like trauma: a self-check.

Some of the deepest wounds come from what never happened: comfort, attention, being seen. They rarely look like trauma, so many people never think of them that way.

Dr. Julia A. AndreClinical Psychologist · About 4 minutes · Free and private

Your story

  1. When I think about my childhood, I'd say nothing really bad happened.
  2. I sometimes almost wish something clearly bad had happened, so my pain would make sense.
  3. I was told, or I sensed, that I was too sensitive.
  4. I know I was loved, and still something important was missing.
  5. When I was upset as a child, I mostly dealt with it on my own.

Feelings and needs

  1. I often don't know what I'm feeling, or it takes me a while to name it.
  2. Asking for help feels uncomfortable, even with people I trust.
  3. I tend to decide my needs aren't big enough to mention.
  4. When I do need something, I feel like a burden.
  5. I often doubt my own reactions, as if I'm making too much of things.

Relationships

  1. My independence doesn't feel like a choice. I have to manage alone.
  2. I pull back just before closeness becomes real.
  3. I'm drawn to people who can't fully meet me, and uneasy with people who can.
  4. I can feel lonely even with people who care about me.
  5. In relationships, I tend to give far more than I receive.

Inner world

  1. My inner critic is much harsher with me than I'd ever be with anyone else.
  2. There's a quiet flatness or emptiness I can't explain.
  3. I sometimes feel I'm watching my life rather than living it.
  4. People call me resilient, but inside it feels more like disconnection.
  5. I keep hitting a ceiling that has nothing to do with my ability.